I deal with a lot of very interesting people with some pretty serious problems at work and then I go home and I deal with very interesting people with some serious problems there.
I think it’s really hard. The other way I describe it is there’s this old movie called Bounce with Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck. In the movie she has something terrible happen to her and she talks about bounce.
She says, the thing about a disaster or tragedy is people will say you’ll bounce back. The thing is yes, you do bounce back but then the ball goes down again and you bounce down again and then back and then down and then back.
It was such a shock to us when Seth was diagnosed. I use to go into my car and I would listen to this one particular song and I would just cry and cry. As long as I was in the car it was okay and I could cry as much as I wanted. Then one night I just got up and sat in the bathroom and cried. I felt like there was part of me that was up in the corner that was looking down at me and saying “Seth has not changed at all, why are you crying.”Two months earlier Seth was exactly the same as he was two months later. The only thing that had changed was my realization that there was a problem. He has autism, but he’s still the same.
That’s sort of a bouncing thing because even thought at that moment I was like he’s the same as he always has been, it happened over and over again. We go through all sorts of things and then it comes back to me, no he’s fine, this is how he’s going to be. But then I forget and get worried about it again and it happens all over again.
At work I see the terrible things and I hear about the terrible things but I also see the people keep moving and doing great things, being happy. I feel like a lot of these people are very very resilient. My husband went through all of this and he is very very resilient.
I mean overall I think I’ve been happy. I think you can feel nerdy and out of place in society and still have a really good life. I think you bounce back.